i think now it is time to introduce myself, briefly. why? b/c the best way to know me will be thru my mind, heart & soul. not my introduction.
i am a 30yr old who is married & has 5 kids. yes i am a stay at home mother but i am no where close to the 50's mama, or the wonderful new breed of stay at home hotties. i have pledged my love to God, and a bipolar mess of a man. life is held together most days by the skin of our teeth. i love to read & dream. many days i walk a fine line btwn dreaming my life away & turning my dreams into my reality. i live in my own world but i like to share it too.
i think this will be more of a rebel blog. it won't always fit the norm & may just bore a brain or two. but in the process i hope it will open minds, expands worlds & allow others to believe life isn't always about order. i encourage you to go check out two other blogs as well. these are two very positive, intelligent ladies who have a drive & perspective on life that is amazing. they are not me and that is a good thing. ps- both are my cousins. and one started her blog today. that's why my last entry was titled not an original. for lots of reasons.... and one b/c when i secretly wanted to start a blog today she publicly started one. lol so here are the addresses of their pages. :)
landofmismatchedsocks.blogspot.com
ok, i do have another cousin that writes but apparently i can't find her link. i will post it as soon as i find it. see??? not the put together lady you thought, huh??? :) [time lapse of 3mins while i ask said cousin & she responds]
ahem... her blog is wonderful & you can click the link here
randomthoughtsofasinglemom-chelle.blogspot.com
so now onto the real beginning. my life, my thoughts & my heart cries. i have been reading and hearing a lot about the mind. about how your surroundings, energy, internal song etc can change who you are and the environment around you. in the next few minutes i am going to popcorn around life.... i am gong to pack all my little today truths in a few short paragraphs. again this is not coherent. if i sat down at the computer when i was learning & getting creative this would've been beautiful. if i had grabbed my journal & pen, then & taken flight this could easily be a copy. but then this wouldn't be my reality. it would simply be the fantasy..... a perfect world where i am all put together....
1)i was watching a comedy w/ my husband (his pick) and a line that stuck me today b/c i chuckled & found truth was this: "kindness is just love w/ its work boots on" WOW think about it that for a minute. just let it resonate. to show love, be kind. to show people you care, be kind. there is a song called love is a verb.
http://youtu.be/WRfFuhrdGKM i heard it when i was a teenager. the truth wasn't lost on me then, but today i was reminded. live a life of love. if we want better, then we need to be the better in the lives of those around us. pour out love, so others can love. love means giving, sharing, work, time, & hugs. it makes you think, is lazy love really love? or if it is love, does it get cheapened, lost or tarnished b/c we do not act on it? many times in my own life & marriage i forget to show how much i care. serving just one more time during the day, cleaning the house to create a calm environment (by the way i hate cleaning), snuggling w/ the kids, reading out loud to someone, the list gets long. did i do enough to show how much i love them? on the flip side, sometimes it is hard to believe someone cares when their words & actions don't match up. or their words and actions to match up but for the negative. it's hard to believe someone loves you if they say it but show constant disrespect & lack of caring. i would normally tangent into the five languages of love. but that is for another time b/c i feel my hubby is growing impatient while i am glued to this computer screen & he would like some focused attention. ;)
2)Gina Lollobrigida (italian actress) said her motto is this: "we are all born to die- the difference is the intensity with which we choose to live" another hit your head moment. lately i've been on the lazy river of life. a go with the flow attitude i've always had but i was more intense. i would go white water rafting down life's river instead of floating down the stream. is it my season of life that has caused me to slow down, or has a piece of me been hidden & strangled to almost death. only a flicker of life in the barren darkness...... unfortunately the truth is i believe pieces of my soul are near death. i have become hidden & fearful. 2 things i don't like about me (right now) i have always been shy but i used to have the courage to move past fears wall & the wisdom to know when to do so. i have made a new determination to reclaim my life & cultivate new life into the farthest corners of my universe. if we are stardust that was sung into existence, i want my soul to once again sing. i must also remember not to wait until life gets perfect or say oh this summer, this summer. but seize the moments of now. now is the time to enjoy, to drink from the river of life & let my cup runneth over. ;)
3)in reading my Bible today the heading for chapter 11 in proverbs was w/o good direction people lose their way. focus, purpose, direction. these are all words that lead to something. that have a deeper meaning beyond the mundane action of the now. if my purpose is to make 100 cookies for a bake sale that benefits cancer research but i get lost in the put cookie dough on pan, place in oven, set timer, take out of oven, cool... repeat. i might forget why i was doing the baking in the first place. [disclaimer: i have not baked cookies to benefit cancer research] http://youtu.be/25VGdNU3nrU this song just popped in my head and has been playing as a sound track while i write so i thought it could be yours while you read.
really the point i am trying to make is what is your intention? what is your focus for the day? they even say for meditation, yoga etc you have to focus. what fantasy do you want to make a reality i your life? do you want to be a super mom? what does that look like? will you wear a cape & pretend to fly w/ your 5yr old son? will you listen to your preteen babble about school even though sometimes it bores you to death? will you become the biggest kink in the bedroom this side of the mississippi? i don't know where your mind wanders to, but i'm sure it does. push for a larger reality. live outside the norm, paint your world.
i dream of a better tomorrow. but i have to live in my moments here. right now i am finishing this up as i stand in the kitchen cooking chicken fingers for my man. i won't do anything eventful. i am going to walk into the living room, watch a movie w/ him while we both eat & probably go to bed. maybe we'll talk about life & it's deeper meaning, he might read a bit of his book out loud to me. but i will stay off the computer while i am in there with him. b/c tonight that is my big accomplishment. showing my guy he doesn't have to contend w/ screen time. i know the tv is a screen but he really doesn't count that.
No comments:
Post a Comment